So my arm is red and covered in band aids. Not red from cutting its red pen. I was told that it helps to mark with red pen or place band aids in the arias you wish to cut when you feel the urge. Well that's not working out for me. My arm is red and covered in band aids and I still feel like I need to cut. I have been squeezing ice in my right hand since about 9:00 and it hurts but not enough. I need to hurt but I don’t want to just give up like that. I have come so far and to cut after all this would mean I worked so hard for nothing. I don’t know what to do. I would just go to bed but I can’t do that because I haven’t been able to sleep for the past week. So I'm super tired but can’t sleep. I could fall right to sleep just one cut and I would be fine I would not shake or have any trouble breathing and I would be able to sleep (well) for the first time in a week. But like I said if I give in now then the past 24 days were pointless and meant nothing.

ugh this sucks big time