Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Okay so I just figured out that today is day 26 of no SI and for some reason I thought it was day 25. 26 days thats like almost a month. Thats a long time but its nothing compaird to forever ugh.

I almost broke down and gave in last night. I kept flicking the lighter on and off and waving my hand thru the flame. Sometimes I would light it and put the flame under my arm or leg just to see how long I could stand the pain. I tried everything last night and nothing worked, red pen, band aids, scratching, pinching, biting, holding ice in my hand, and heat, nothing. But nothing caused permanent damage so it doesn’t count as SI right? It wasn’t really that serious and I have to give the lighter to Tonya tonight so it’s not like I will have it much longer. Things just keep getting worse. I thought quitting was supposed to make things better, I was supposed to feel better but noooo I feel like crap and things are not getting better. 26 days later Sarah still feels like crap. I think things will get better eventually but I don’t think they will get better anytime soon. They say things get worse before they get better I would just like to know how much worse they are guna get. I’m not sure how long this is guna go on for but I can’t wait till its done and I can get some sleep.

No comments: