So I've been thinking, I want to know why I cut. I want to know every last reason, even the reasons I haven't admitted to. I want to know ALL of them. I know I have mentioned a few reasons, like I cut to feel numb, I cut to know I'm alive, I cut to forget about the emotional pain. I am sick of giving lame answers. Answers like I cut because I was mad. I cut because I was sad, or I cut because stressed. Those reasons just aren't good enough for me, they really aren't reasons at all. Other people get mad, sad, and stressed and they don't cut. I want real reasons, reasons that make sense. I'm tired of hiding them for myself. Hiding the real reasons I cut isn't going to make things better. I think that for real, true healing to take place I need to face reality, and the reality is there are many reasons that I cut and I need to deal with them all. So I think that to start I need to figure out all he reasons I cut, so every time i figure out one of the reasons I cut I will be posting it here on my blog. Why? 1. So that I have it recorded somewhere 2. Because I think it will help people to understand and see why I cut. I don't want people who read this to just see a girl who cuts I want people to know its deeper than that there is more to the cutting, its really not about the cutting its about the reasons be hind it. Weather you know me or not I want you to know why I cut. I want you to know that most cutters don't just cut to cut, there are reasons for it and until you dig and figure out why things will never get better. So Here is the the first few reasons I cut.

I cut to...
feel numb
know I'm alive
find relief
forget about emotional pain and hurt
grieve (in place of crying)