inefficient

Do you ever do something stupid one night then wake up and the reality of what you did hits?
Wow, reality has hit me this morning.
It hit and it hit hard.
Like a frying pan to the back of the head,
A can of soup dropped on your toe,
Someones fist to your gut.
Its a guilt wrenching pain.
I am to the paint where I feel sick.
What in the world was I thinking?
The pain I am in is beyond description.
I have been defeated once again.
I'm so inefficient.
I cant do this on my own.
So why do I keep trying?