Sunday, November 18, 2007

This is not easy anymore. Its getting a little difficult. The first few days it was a little hard but by day 5 it was not so bad. I made up my mind that I was not going to cut and that I could quit. When I felt like cutting I just read a book or something. its not that easy now. I cant just read a book. I cant stop shaking. My hands are shaking like crazy right now. I keep getting dizzy spells and I start to feel light headed. This is not the first time I have experience this. It has happened before. I have tried to quit cutting before and a few days into it I would start shaking or getting light headed. But it has been like 30 days. I quit cutting 30 days ago and now 30 days into it I start feeling like this. What the heck?!?! I have been doing so good. Why now why does this have to happen now. I don't want to give in. I don't want to screw it up. I don't want to have to start over. But its hard. I cant stop shaking. It wont go away. What am I supposed to do? How do I make it go away? This SUCKS!

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