Wednesday Night

A lot has been on my mind lately. Cathie taught Wednesday night and when Cathie teaches something always hits me and it hits pretty hard...its a good thing I know, but sometimes I don't like it. So we talked about the word BELIEVE a lot. What does the word Believe mean? What does the word Believe mean to us? What is Believing? That kind of thing. I learned that believing isn't just something you say its an action. When you say I believe you will catch me when I fall but you refuse to jump you don't really believe. You have to follow through with what you are saying otherwise believe is just a word. I started thinking what do I believe? Do I believe in God? Yes. Do I back that up with my actions? Yes. So that kinda confused me because I know I believe in God, I have a desire to tell others about him to be a missionary to live my life doing what he has told me to do. So why is there this...I don't know this distance between him and I? Why do I have a hard time trusting Him and talking to Him? I believe in Him, I believe he is real, that he is here, that he is coming back, I believe that there is only one way to heaven and that is threw Jesus Christ, I believe all of this and I have this huge desire to serve him. I'm so excited about being a missionary you don't even understand. So whats wrong? I have this amazing God who I want to live for but we are not as close as we need to be. So this comes back to that word BELIEVE. I believe in God, I believe he is real, that he loves me, that he is with me but this is the discovery I made. I discovered that I have a very hard time believing that Gods love for me is UNCONDITIONAL, I also Have a very hard time believing that he is ALWAYS with me.

Do you know what the word UNCONDITIONAL means? It means it is not limited, there are no
conditions it is absolute. His love is not restricted, it is not determined or influenced by someone or something else.
Do you know what the word ALWAYS means? It means He is with us on every occasion, without exception, all the time, forever.

I haven't met too many people like that. Come to think of it I haven't met anyone like that...ever. I guess that's why it's so hard for me to believe. But then again God's not a person is he? He's God. I cant look at him the same way i look at people. People are people and God is God. To compare him to humans or humans to Him well that just wouldn't be fair. God is perfect, he has never told a lie or broken a promise. If He says he will never leave us then He will NEVER leave us. If He says His love is unconditional then His love is UNCONDITIONAL. I have a problem trusting what God says because I have a problem trusting what people say. I have a problem BELIEVING what God says because i have a problem BELIEVING what people say. But God and people are very different because God is prefect and people are not. I can't look at him like I look at people because its not a fair comparison.