It's not a suicide attempt

Cutting is not an attempt at ending my life, it is an attempt to preserve it. I don't cut because I wish to die, I cut because without the relief that cutting brings living seems impossible. When I cut I can feel the pain, the stress, and the frustration, leaving my body and for that moment I am free from it all. But when the cuts begin to heal, scabs begin to develop, the wounds close up, my feelings become trapped once again with no way of escape. The moment of freedom has passed and I am trapped inside myself. Inside I am crying, desperately searching for a way out and the only way I know how to do that is to cut. It's not an attempt to end my life it is an attempt to make it a little easier. Cutting for me is more like a survival strategy. I um usually pretty careful about where I cut and when I do cut I take care of the cuts to prevent infection. It's not a careless act it's a well thought out attempt to make it through that day or moment. The problem with cutting is that the feeling of relief is temporary and cutting can also become addicting. It is not a permanent form of relief or freedom it's only temporary and it is never enough. Once you start you need more, you go from cutting once or twice to 10 times and then that's not enough so you cut 20 times and then you decide that they need to be deeper. Things can get bad and because self injury is only temporary there will never be a point of satisfaction you will ALWAYS need more. I don't suggest using self injury as a coping mechanism to anyone, it is dangerous and difficult to stop. If you have recently started cutting pleas stop, talk to someone about it, an adult you respect, someone you know will listen to you. Talk to someone you know will stand by you through your pain and help you to sort out your feelings. And stay away from the people who cast judgment because they don't understand, they only make things worse. Just know that there are better ways to deal with pain, hurt, stress, and frustration and self injury is not one of them.